Welcome to Therapist Point! I'm your host, Jake, and today we'll continue discussing my personal journey with therapy as I reflect on my third session.

Being Stuck in the Past

So, I'm in my 40s, and one of the main things we focused on in therapy is how I've often find myself stuck in the past. On one hand, I know this is something many people experience as they get older. But on the other hand, I can't help but feel it's not just about aging—it's also that the world around me has changed so drastically, and I no longer feel as connected to it as I once did, and that's where the struggle begins.

How Social Media Changed the Way We Connect

One example of this shift is how people socialize. We all know that social media has changed the way we communicate over the past decade, but it feels like it’s getting worse with each passing year. If we look back even a century, socializing was mostly face-to-face, not glued to a device. This is where I start to think it’s not just me getting older; the world has really shifted.

Now, to expand on that, one thing that bothers me a lot is how it's all about recording the moment instead of actually experiencing it. We see this at concerts, festivals, clubs, and so on. The irony is that back in my partying days (yes, I’m sounding like the old man now, haha), when we went clubbing, it was rare for anyone to record anything. If we saw someone recording us having fun at the after-party, we’d probably think they were a narc and tell them to stop—this was our moment, not for the world, some Goodfellas kind of vibe. But now, all you see are people holding up their phones to the DJ or artist on stage, and honestly, it just looks kind of sad to me.

I get it, though. Some of you listening might be those people, and I'm not trying to put you down. I understand that if everyone else is doing it, you might feel the need to do it too. Don’t get me wrong—I did it myself when it first became a thing. But after a while, it just lost its appeal, and I started to miss how we used to have fun, without the constant need to capture everything. So, yeah, it's a struggle, and it often makes me not want to go out, knowing I’ll just be surrounded by people standing there with their phones.

Now, here’s the other side of the coin, where it might sound a bit hypocritical: when I’m home, not doing much, I’ll hop on Instagram or Facebook and scroll through posts to pass the time. In some ways, that’s just what we’re being fed now, so it’s hard to completely ignore it, unless you go just go live off-grid which is not a reality for most.

Why I Miss the 80s, 90s, and 2000s Film Era

Now there’s other areas of being stuck in the past such as Movies for example. I do miss movies from the 80’s, 90’s, even 2000’s in comparison to most movies today. Not saying that there aren’t any as I will come across a movie here and there that I enjoy, but the part I’m not a big fan of movies today is it’s either all about CGI and not the story line, or everything is a remake which I personally feel maybe 1 out of 20 is good and the rest not my cup of tea. 

Another example is Comedy. Personally, I’m not that sensitive or easily offended as I can handle any type of joke, but today there’s more Political Correctness and Cancel Culture based on certain jokes that have to do with race, gender, sex, whatever.  I’m not alone on this one as even the comedians themselves have expressed that, but I also do see some comedians fighting back for the right to be funny.  Bottom line, if it’s meant to be a joke and not hurt someone, then lets just enjoy the entertainment.

I also miss how dating used to be. It feels like things have changed so much in recent years, with everything moving to apps and online profiles. Back in the day, dating was more about genuine connections—meeting people in person, having real conversations, and building chemistry naturally. It wasn’t about swiping left or right based on a picture or a short bio. There was something special about the anticipation of getting to know someone face-to-face, without the pressure of constantly being "on" or having to present the perfect image online. Now, it feels like dating has become more transactional, and I miss that simpler, more authentic approach. I especially used to love driving on the road and pulling up next to a woman driving and start flirting, striking up a conversation. But now if you pull up, she is most likely on her phone, possibly taking selfies, or if you do get her attention, you might get called a creep. Again, not saying in every time, but the odds are stacked against you.

I also miss how dating used to be. It feels like things have changed so much in recent years, with dating now revolving around apps and online profiles. I'm not saying things were perfect back then, but overall, dating was about real connections—meeting people in person, having authentic conversations, and letting chemistry develop naturally. It wasn’t about swiping left or right based on a picture or a quick bio. I know I might sound a bit hypocritical because when online dating first came out, it was exciting. It felt like a faster, more convenient way to meet someone, so I’m not completely knocking it. But now, it seems like everyone is jaded after years of online dating, and this is where I find myself missing the past. There was something special about the excitement of getting to know someone face-to-face, without the pressure of presenting a perfect online image. These days, dating feels more transactional, and I really miss that simpler, more genuine approach. I especially miss the days when I could drive down the road, pull up next to a woman, and start flirting or strike up a conversation. But now, if you pull up next to someone, she’s probably too busy on her phone, maybe taking selfies. And if you do manage to get her attention, you might just be labeled a creep. It’s not the case every time, but the odds are definitely stacked against you. With all of these factors in play, it just makes me less interested in trying that approach anymore. On top of that, dating seems to be a struggle for everyone these days. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it’s all one-sided, or that it’s entirely women’s fault. There are plenty of guys who have lost their way too, especially those who only want hookups without even going out on a date or those who’ve forgotten the importance of chivalry. It just feels like negative energies bouncing off each other.

I could probably go on further into this topic in other areas, but I think I’ve depressed enough people for one day.  Essentially, my therapist told me something I already knew: there's no going back in time, and I just need to accept things as they are, which is definitely a tough pill to swallow. We did touch on a couple other topics related to this, though I can’t recall all the details. But I’m sure we’ll revisit this subject, as I still feel like I need more clarity on how to stop romanticizing the past and find ways to embrace happiness in today's world. So as I move forward on this journey, I recognize that acceptance is crucial, even though it’s not always easy. It’s tough not to long for the past, but I know I need to keep learning that true growth comes from embracing the present. I’m hopeful that through these therapy sessions, I’ll be able to navigate these emotions and find a balance between honoring the past and fully living in the moment.

Thanks for joining me on this part of my journey, and I’ll catch you next time here at Therapist Point.

Victimhood mentality, often referred to as "victim complex" or "victim syndrome," is a mindset that involves perceiving oneself as a victim in most situations despite evidence to the contrary. 

This mentality can contribute to various psychological issues, including learned helplessness, depression, and anxiety. It can also form part of specific personality disorders, such as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), where individuals might experience intense emotional responses and a tendency to externalize blame.  

Diagnosis and Characteristics of Victimhood Mentality

Victimhood mentality is not a standalone diagnosis in the DSM-5, but it can be a symptom or behavior pattern associated with other mental health disorders. It often involves a pervasive belief that one is powerless or oppressed, reluctance to take responsibility for personal actions, blaming external factors or others for personal misfortunes, and a tendency to focus on past traumatic events. Since victimhood mentality is not a medical condition but a pattern of thinking and behavior, it cannot be "cured" in the traditional medical sense.

Client Example: 

Consider a client named Jane, who is regularly convinced that her coworkers are out to sabotage her at work. Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, Jane struggles to accept positive feedback and often feels that her contributions are undervalued due to a perceived bias against her. This belief fuels her anxiety and contributes to a cycle of self-doubt and ineffective workplace interactions. 

The Issue(s) for Clients like Jane: A victimhood mentality can lead to significant personal and professional challenges for individuals like Jane. These might include strained relationships, career stagnation, and emotional distress. This mindset can hinder personal and professional growth, which is detrimental to Jane, preventing Jane and others who experience a victimhood mentality from evolving. This would be unfortunate for Jane as she would never recognize agency nor be able to fully take responsibility due to a lack of agency to support growth.

In Session - Therapeutic Approaches & Strategies: Therapeutic interventions can significantly change or manage the victimhood mentality of patients like Jane. Specifically, when I work with clients who struggle with a victimhood mentality, I incorporate therapeutic approaches of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Additionally, I include supportive strategies so individuals like Jane can learn to challenge and alter their negative thought patterns and behaviors that enable a victimhood mentality.

CBT Strategies: Within the session, cognitive restructuring is exceptionally beneficial in addition to identifying and challenging negative thought patterns. I would utilize role-playing for Jane, which can be highly effective in practicing new responses to perceived threats. I would encourage Jane to write in a journal for the CBT homework to reflect on daily experiences and recognize maladaptive thoughts and behavioral patterns that are related to her victimhood mentality so that we can review in our session and role-play the more positive responses for future instances to help condition and make Jane more comfortable when experiencing similar work, social conflicts. 

DBT Strategies: Incorporate mindfulness exercises into the session to increase self-awareness and practice emotion regulation techniques. Interpersonal effectiveness training will also help Jane reduce impulsive reactions and improve communication and relationship skills. I have found that clients who incorporate these DBT strategies within our session and their daily routine are better able to manage, e.g., less reactive to triggers that enable victimhood response(s) and can move towards a healthier well-being of being able to take constructive criticism as well as be able to take accountability. 

TO CONSIDER: Victimhood Mentality can stem from past trauma and be a way for the individual to survive within an environment that is not healthy, positive, or conducive.

Victim Mentality as a Trauma Response

Research indicates that victimhood mentality can be a trauma response. Traumatic experiences may reinforce feelings of helplessness and powerlessness, perpetuating the victim's identity. Studies have shown that individuals with a history of trauma often exhibit a stronger external locus of control, which is a core component of the victimhood mentality (Cramer, 2016). 

To Summarize: These therapeutic approaches and modalities can help clients develop healthier perspectives and healthy coping strategies, ultimately reducing the hold on a victimhood mentality. The key is consistent effort and willingness to self-reflect and grow. As a therapist, employing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can be effective in addressing victimhood mentality. CBT helps patients identify and challenge the distorted thoughts contributing to their victimhood mindset. It encourages the development of healthier thinking patterns and behaviors. DBT, on the other hand, focuses on emotional regulation and distress tolerance, helping clients like Jane to manage intense feelings and develop healthier coping mechanisms. It is crucial to take into consideration when working with a client who exhibits a victimhood mentality if this is a trauma response and, therefore, utilize therapeutic approaches, modalities, and resources to help support your client. 

Why is there such a misunderstanding of victimhood mentality?

1.  Complexity of Trauma Responses: As discussed earlier in the article, victimhood mentality is sometimes a coping mechanism developed in response to past trauma. It can manifest as a way to process feelings of helplessness and loss of control. Society might misinterpret these behaviors as attention-seeking or an unwillingness to change, rather than recognizing the underlying trauma (Cramer, 2016). 
2.  The Role of Culture: Cultural narratives often value self-reliance and resilience, which can create a bias against those perceived as victims. This cultural misunderstanding overlooks the genuine psychological distress and the need for support and empathy (Schmitt et al., 2014). 
3.  Impact on Relationships: Individuals with a victimhood mentality might struggle with relationships due to misinterpretations of their behavior. Others might view them as difficult or negative, without understanding the depth of their emotional struggles (Thomas & Sharp, 2019).
4. Cultural Emphasis on Strength and Independence: Many cultures value self-reliance and resilience, which can stigmatize those who express vulnerability or distress. For example, in workplaces that prioritize competitiveness and assertiveness, individuals expressing feelings of victimhood may be seen as lacking the necessary drive or toughness. 
5. Misinterpretation of Intent: People with a victimhood mentality might express their struggles in ways perceived as blaming or complaining. This can lead others to view them as manipulative or unwilling to take responsibility. For instance, a person frequently discussing their challenges might be seen as seeking attention rather than genuinely needing support.

These societal perceptions overlook the complexity of psychological responses and the genuine need for empathy and support. Recognizing the societal misconceptions around victimhood mentality can foster a more empathetic understanding and support those who struggle with this mindset. Victimhood mentality is often misunderstood in society and frequently seen as a sign of weakness or manipulation rather than a complex psychological response. This misunderstanding can lead to stigma and isolation for those affected.  Society often lacks a nuanced understanding of how trauma can affect behavior. Without recognizing that a victimhood mentality can be a response to trauma, people may dismiss these individuals as negative or weak. For example, someone repeatedly expressing feelings of helplessness may be reacting to unresolved trauma, not simply choosing to remain passive. Promoting awareness and understanding can reduce the stigma and better support those experiencing a victimhood mentality.

Now, how does one differentiate between genuine victimhood and a victimhood mentality? This involves understanding the context and the individual's response to their circumstances. Here are some ways to make this distinction: 

1.  Objective Assessment of Situations: Real victimhood often involves clear, identifiable instances of harm or injustice, such as abuse, discrimination, or trauma. It requires assessing the facts of the situation to determine if the individual's experiences align with these criteria. 
2.  Emotional and Behavioral Responses: Genuine victims may exhibit a range of emotions like fear, anger, or sadness, and their behaviors often aim towards seeking justice or healing. In contrast, a victimhood mentality may involve persistent feelings of helplessness and a focus on blaming others without seeking resolution or change. 
3.  Willingness to Seek Solutions: Real victims often strive to overcome their circumstances by seeking help, support, or justice. They may engage in therapy, legal action, or advocacy. Those with a victimhood mentality might resist solutions and remain focused on the perceived injustice without taking steps toward improvement. 
4.  Consistency Across Situations: Genuine victimhood is typically situation-specific, whereas a victimhood mentality might persist across various unrelated situations, showing a pattern of perceiving oneself as a victim in numerous aspects of life. Understanding these distinctions requires careful listening and empathy, recognizing that both real victims and those with a victimhood mentality need support but may require different approaches to healing and empowerment. 
   
   

Victimhood Mentality In Literature

Arthur Miller's "Death of a Salesman

I am going to share an example of a well-known character that exemplifies victimhood mentality as sometimes we do not realize that even in famous books, plays, movies, etc., the main character(s) exhibiting victimhood mentality is Willy Loman's character in Arthur Miller's "Death of a Salesman." Willy is a poignant example of how a victimhood mentality can lead to personal and familial destruction. His demise is a culmination of his inability to escape this mindset.  

1.  Entrapment in Illusions: Willy is trapped in his illusions of the American Dream, believing success is purely a matter of being well-liked. This unrealistic expectation blinds him to his shortcomings and the need for adaptation. As noted by Miller (1949), Willy's adherence to these illusions prevents him from accepting reality, leading to his mental decline. 
2.  Projection of Blame: Willy consistently projects blame onto others, including his boss and sons, for his failures. This deflection prevents self-reflection or improvement, deepening his sense of victimhood. According to Bigsby (2005), this projection is a defense mechanism that shields Willy from confronting his own failures, further isolating him. 
3.  Mental Deterioration and Demise: Willy's continuous denial and externalization of blame contribute to his mental deterioration. His ultimate demise, through suicide, is seen as his final attempt to reclaim control and provide for his family through insurance money. Miller (1949) depicts this tragic end as a result of Willy's unyielding adherence to a flawed belief system, illustrating the destructive potential of a victim mentality. 
   
   

Willy often perceives himself as a victim of societal expectations and economic pressures. He frequently blames external circumstances for his lack of success and personal dissatisfaction rather than recognizing his role in his situation. Willy's inability to confront his shortcomings or adapt to change leads to a persistent state of helplessness and frustration. This character can resonate with readers as it highlights the internal struggle of dealing with perceived failures and the consequences of not taking personal responsibility. Willy Loman's story underscores the dangers of a victimhood mentality, showing how it can lead to tragic outcomes when individuals fail to adapt, reflect, and accept responsibility for their actions.

Victimhood in Social Media, Cancel Culture, Hollywood: 

Social media, cancel culture, and Hollywood have significantly influenced societal dynamics, promoting a victimhood mentality, particularly among younger generations such as Gen Z and Gen Alpha. This influence manifests in several ways: 

1.  Amplification of Victim Narratives: Social media platforms often amplify stories of perceived victimization, creating an environment where being a victim can garner attention and sympathy. This can lead individuals to adopt a victim mindset to gain validation or support online (Ng, 2020).
2.  Cancel Culture Dynamics: Cancel culture involves publicly calling out individuals or entities for perceived wrongdoings, often resulting in social ostracism. This environment can perpetuate a sense of victimhood, both for those who are "canceled" and those who engage in canceling, as it can foster an us-versus-them mentality (Williams, 2021). 
3.  Influence on Younger Generations: Gen Z and Gen Alpha are particularly vulnerable to these dynamics due to their high engagement with digital media and the developmental stage of forming identity. The pressure to align with popular narratives online can lead to adopting victimhood as a part of identity (Twenge, 2017). 
4. Shows and Movies: Media like "13 Reasons Why" dramatizes victimization and its impacts, potentially normalizing these narratives for impressionable audiences. 
5. Music: Certain music genres often emphasize themes of personal struggle and victimhood, which can resonate with and reinforce these feelings among listeners. 
6. Books: Works like "The Hate U Give" address social injustices, important for awareness but also capable of reinforcing a victim narrative if not balanced with empowerment themes. 
   
   

The pervasive nature of social media cancel culture, and Hollywood can encourage a victimhood mentality by amplifying negative experiences and promoting divisive narratives. It is crucial for individuals, especially younger generations, to develop critical thinking and resilience to navigate these influences in a healthy, more positive, and productive way.

Gen Z and Gen Alpha - Victimhood Prevalence

The prevalence of victimhood mentality among Gen Z and Gen Alpha compared to past generations can be attributed to several key factors, and a better understanding of the factors below can help address the root causes of victimhood mentality and provide insights into fostering resilience and agency among younger generations: 

 1. Digital Connectivity and Social Media: These generations have grown up with unprecedented access to digital technology and social media, which amplifies personal narratives and societal issues. The constant exposure to curated content and public discourse can heighten sensitivity to perceived injustices and foster a victim mindset (Twenge, 2017).

 2. Heightened Awareness of Social Issues: Gen Z and Gen Alpha are more aware of social justice issues due to widespread information sharing online. While this awareness is crucial, it can also lead to a heightened sense of victimhood as they navigate complex societal challenges (Pew Research Center, 2019). 

 3. Cultural Shifts in Parenting and Education: These generations have often been raised in environments that emphasize self-esteem and validation. While positive in many respects, this focus can sometimes lead to difficulties in coping with adversity, contributing to a victimhood mentality when faced with challenges (Twenge, 2017). 

 4. Economic and Environmental Uncertainty: Growing up during times of economic instability and environmental crises can also contribute to feelings of helplessness and victimhood. These concerns are more immediate for younger generations than for many in the past (Williams, 2020). 

The emergence of a victimhood mentality among Gen Z and Gen Alpha can be attributed to digital connectivity, heightened social awareness, cultural shifts, and global uncertainties. Social media, cancel culture, and Hollywood significantly amplify personal narratives and societal divisions, often encouraging younger generations to perceive themselves as victims within complex social landscapes. Unlike their predecessors, these generations face unique challenges, such as constant digital exposure and economic and environmental instability, which can exacerbate feelings of helplessness. However, understanding these dynamics offers a pathway to addressing the root causes of victimhood mentality. By fostering critical thinking, resilience, and adaptive coping strategies, society can empower individuals to navigate adversities constructively. Encouraging open communication, balanced perspectives in media, and supportive environments can mitigate the negative impacts of these pervasive influences, ultimately guiding these generations toward a more empowered and proactive future. Through collective effort and empathy, we can transform the narrative from victimhood to strength and agency.

In conclusion, the victimhood mentality presents a complex challenge that intertwines psychological, cultural, and societal dynamics. It is often stigmatized and seen as a sign of weakness or manipulation rather than recognized as a potential trauma response requiring understanding and empathy. This mentality is frequently perpetuated through narratives in books, movies, music, and broader cultural influences, which can subtly reinforce feelings of helplessness and externalization of blame. Therapists play a crucial role in assisting clients with a victimhood mentality. By employing best practices such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), therapists help clients identify and restructure negative thought patterns, promoting personal responsibility and empowerment. Additionally, addressing underlying trauma is essential, as victimhood mentality can often be a manifestation of unresolved emotional wounds. The stigmatization of victimhood mentality can lead to isolation and hinder individuals from seeking necessary help. It's vital to shift societal perceptions towards a more compassionate understanding, recognizing that individuals need support and practical tools for change. Future generations are at risk of inheriting this mentality if cultural narratives continue to emphasize victimhood over resilience. The consequences may include reduced personal agency, strained relationships, and an inability to cope with life's challenges effectively. Being proactive involves fostering resilience, encouraging accountability, and promoting positive narratives that empower rather than victimize. We can mitigate the negative impacts of victimhood mentality by cultivating environments that support growth and adaptability and engaging constructively with cultural narratives. This proactive approach benefits individuals and contributes to a society where empowerment and resilience are the norms.

References:

• Bigsby, C. W. E. (2005). *Arthur Miller: A Critical Study*. Cambridge University Press. Miller, A. (1949). *Death of a Salesman*. Viking Press. 
  
  
• Cramer, P. (2016). Understanding and Changing the Victim Mentality: A Guide for Professionals Working with Trauma Survivors. Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, 17(3), 267-283. 
  
  
• Dissociation, 17*(3), 267-283. 
  
  
• Ng, E. (2020). *No Grand Pronouncements Here...: Reflections on Cancel Culture and Digital Media Participation*. Television & New Media, 21(6), 1-23. 
  
  
• Pew Research Center. (2019). *Generation Z Looks a Lot Like Millennials on Key Social and Political Issues*. Retrieved from https://www.pewresearch.org 
  
  
• Schmitt, M. T., Branscombe, N. R., & Postmes, T. (2014). The Consequences of Perceived Victimhood: Effects on Interpersonal Relationships and the Self. *Social Psychology Quarterly, 77*(4), 343-363. 
  
  
• Studies and References Williams, R. (2021). Cancel Culture: Understanding the Phenomenon and Its Impact on Society*. Journal of Media Ethics, 36(2), 1-8. 
  
  
• Thomas, J., & Sharp, G. J. (2019). Understanding Victimhood: The Role of Cultural Context in Interpreting Psychological and Behavioral Patterns. *International Journal of Psychological Studies, 11*(4), 29-40. 
  
  
• Twenge, J. M. (2017). *iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy—and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood*. Atria Books. Williams, R. (2020). *The Impact of Economic and Environmental Factors on Generational Perspectives*. Journal of Youth Studies, 23(5), 1-15. 

Listen to Podcast on this article here
https://therapistpoint.com/podcast/my-therapy-day-1 

Today, I want to share a deeply personal experience: my first day in therapy. It's a topic that can feel vulnerable for many to discuss, but I believe it’s important to bring it to light and have an open conversation about it. So here we go!

Decision to Start Therapy

The decision to actually begin therapy, rather than just talking about it, wasn’t an easy one. Like many people, I had reservations about opening up to a stranger about my problems, and I wasn’t sure if it would actually help or if I was just wasting my time and money. On the other hand, it’s important to invest in yourself—whether it's by improving your physical health through proper nutrition and exercise or investing in your education and business to grow your income. So why not also invest in your mental well-being to complete the whole package?

Therapist Research

I took the first step, which meant doing some research. The first part of the process was finding a therapist I thought might be the right fit—someone who specialized in the areas I needed help with. It’s not just about picking someone who will listen; it’s about finding someone who understands the nuances of what I’m dealing with, who can offer real tools for growth, and who makes me feel safe and heard from the very first interaction. Of course, there are also practical considerations, like checking whether they accept your insurance or what out-of-pocket expenses you might incur.

After spending some time looking through numerous profiles, I reached the point where I just wanted to make a choice already. On paper, several therapists seemed like they could help, so it was hard to decide. Eventually, I narrowed it down to a few top choices, flipped a coin, and picked one. I figured I’d give it a try, and if it didn’t feel like a good fit, I could move on until I found the right one.

So, I reached out to a therapist, and we had our initial consultation. She started by asking a few basic questions, like what I was hoping to get out of therapy and what my goals were. After I shared my thoughts, she explained the type of therapy she practices and what the process involves. She then asked if I thought it sounded like a good fit for me. Honestly, I had no idea how to answer. I told her this was my first time seeking therapy as an adult (other than some childhood therapy and a brief stint with couples counseling during my marriage, which didn’t last long). I explained that, without any prior experience to compare it to, it was hard to know if this approach was the right one, which she agreed was a fair assessment. But I told her I was open to giving it a try and seeing how things went.

In-Person Therapy vs Online Therapy

We scheduled our first appointment, which took place virtually. Beforehand, I asked if there was any difference between virtual and in-person sessions. She explained that for some people, in-person feels more comfortable and personal, while for others, there’s no real difference. Personally, since I’m used to attending virtual meetings for work, I was open to starting that way. Plus, it saved me gas and commute time, which was definitely a bonus! Lol Why not save a few emissions, right?

In our first session, she asked if there were any specific areas I wanted to focus on. I found it hard to narrow it down because there are several aspects of my life I want to work on, and I wasn’t sure where to start. So instead, she asked me some background questions—things like where I’m from, details about my family, and my work. Surprisingly, these simple questions led me to open up more than I expected. As I answered them, I found myself naturally talking about the challenges I’m facing in different areas of my life. Before I knew it, the session was over.

It felt a bit like stepping into a pool. At first, the water feels cold and you’re hesitant, but once you dive in and take a few laps, your body adjusts, and the coldness fades. Before you know it, you’re on fire!

To sum it up, the first session was really about her getting to know me better. There wasn’t any major feedback or solutions, which I expected. After all, how can someone help you if they don’t know anything about you? I understand this is going to be a process. Although I’m not always that patient and love instant results—like the instant gratification world we live in today—I guess this is one area where I’ll have to work on that.

I plan to continue with weekly sessions, and after a few more, I’ll record another podcast to share updates on my progress and what I’m learning along the way. For those who are hesitant about getting help, I hope this will give you the courage you need to take that step.

As the crisp fall air soon transitions into winter's chill, many of us cozy up by the fireplace, savor hot chocolate, and cherish time with loved ones. For some of us, though, rather than a season of warmth and festivity, it feels like a season of loneliness, darkness, and despair—the crippling symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), also known as winter blues, seasonal depression, or winter depression. Approximately 10 million Americans experience SAD annually, often unbeknownst to the rest of the world. This was the case with a client of mine:

“In those years, when fall turned into winter, I’d withdraw, feeling exhausted, unmotivated, alone, and lost. Completing even the simplest tasks  became impossible. I’d lay in bed—feeling numb—staring blankly, unable to muster any strength or motivation to start my day.”

He had SAD and endured it in silence for two winters until he finally opened up to a trusted one and sought professional help. This is something that you may be struggling with. If it is, one of the first things we can do is recognize the signs and symptoms of SAD.

Recognizing the Signs and Symptoms

SAD is often disguised as mere winter fatigue, but for those affected, it is crippling and causes dysfunction in many areas of their life. Symptoms include:

●       Persistent feelings of loneliness, sadness, emptiness, and despair

●       Loss of energy and motivation

●       Withdrawal from social interactions and isolation

●       Difficulty concentrating and completing daily tasks

●       Numbness and disconnection

Managing Seasonal Affective Disorder

There are coping and self-care strategies to naturally manage SAD symptoms and promote your winter mental health.

1. Light Therapy

Exposure to sunlight, particularly in the morning, plays a crucial role in regulating our internal clock and hormone production. This can lead to improved sleep quality, enhanced mood, and increased energy levels.

To reap the benefits of sunlight, aim for the following:

●       Intensity: Expose yourself to approximately 10,000 lux, which is the equivalent of direct sunlight.

●       Timing: Spend time outside during the following periods:

○       8am-10am: Morning sunlight helps regulate your circadian rhythm.

○       11am-1pm: Mid-day sunlight can help boost your mood and energy.

●       Duration: Aim for at least 20-30 minutes of sunlight exposure per session.

Incorporate sunlight into your daily routine with these strategies:

1. Start your day with a morning stretch outside in the sun.
2. Take a short walk during your lunch break to soak up some sunlight.
3. Wind down with an evening walk during sunset to promote relaxation.

While light therapy boxes can be a convenient alternative, natural sunlight provides a broader range of benefits—and it’s free!

2. Exercise

Regular exercise is a powerful tool in managing SAD symptoms. Physical activity has been shown to:

●       Improve mood and reduce symptoms of depression

●       Boost energy levels and reduce fatigue

●       Enhance sleep quality and duration

●       Promote overall physical and mental well-being

From brisk walking to strength training to pilates, there are many options for you to choose from. Some tips to get you started:

●       Aim to exercise outside during peak sunlight hours (when possible) to combine physical activity with natural light therapy.

●       Start small, with 15-minute sessions, and gradually increase the duration and intensity as you become more comfortable.

●       Find an exercise buddy or accountability partner to help stay motivated and engaged.

3. Diet

A well-balanced diet plays a crucial role in maintaining overall health and well-being, particularly during the winter months when SAD symptoms can be more pronounced.

Aim to incorporate whole, unprocessed foods into your diet as much as possible. It is understandable if you need take-out or a quick microwaveable meal here and there. But whole foods provide essential nutrients, fiber, and antioxidants that support optimal health. Soups and broths, casseroles, hearty stews, and teas are especially nourishing and warming during the winter months.

In addition to focusing on whole, unprocessed foods, incorporate the following key nutrients into your diet to help manage SAD symptoms:

●       Healthy fats and Omega-3s: Found in fatty fish, nuts, seeds, and avocados, these essential fatty acids support brain health and mood regulation.

●       Vitamin D: Crucial for mood regulation and overall health, vitamin D can be found in fatty fish, egg yolks, dairy products, and sunlight exposure.

●       SAMe (S-adenosylmethionine): This naturally occurring compound supports mood regulation and can be found in foods like meat, fish, and whole grains.

●       Antioxidants: Found in a variety of fruits and vegetables (think of colorful foods), antioxidants help protect against oxidative stress and inflammation, which can exacerbate SAD symptoms.

4. Adequate, Quality Sleep

Aiming for 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night is crucial for managing SAD symptoms. This standard range for healthy adults helps regulate mood and energy levels, which are often disrupted by SAD.

Our bodies operate on an internal clock, known as the circadian rhythm, which relies heavily on our sleep schedule and exposure to sunlight. By prioritizing sleep and maintaining a consistent sleep-wake cycle, you can help your body stay in sync with the natural day-night cycle, reducing the severity of SAD symptoms.

Some strategies to promote optimal sleep and circadian rhythm include: establishing a calming routine before bed, avoiding blue light exposure an hour prior to sleep, and getting sun exposure as soon as possible upon waking up.

5. Meditation and Mindfulness

Meditation is another tool for managing SAD symptoms. By incorporating meditation into your daily routine, you can:

●       Calm your mind and emotions

●       Reduce stress and anxiety

●       Improve your mood regulation

●       Cultivate self-awareness and self-compassion

There are various meditation techniques, including: mindfulness meditation, guided imagery, journaling, breath awareness, and nature meditation walks. To get started, you can explore various apps and tools that offer guided meditations and relaxation techniques. Some popular options include Headspace, Calm, Insight Timer, and Hallow (Christian-based). Start with short 15-minute sessions and slowly increase the time as you become more comfortable with meditations. It might be helpful as well to set a time for meditation in your daily routine.

Consulting with a Mental Health Specialist

While lifestyle changes, self-care, and coping strategies can help alleviate SAD symptoms, consulting with a mental health professional can be an essential part of effective management and recovery. They can help create personalized treatment plans; teach emotion regulation skills, stress management techniques, and healthy coping mechanisms; support with medication management; and provide a supportive environment to discuss challenges, progress, and unravel any wounds that may be contributing to SAD.

Don’t be afraid to seek help. We see a doctor annually for our physical health—it doesn’t hurt and only makes sense that we do the same for our psychological and mental health. You can use the Therapist Directory on this site to find a qualified mental health professional for whatever you are struggling with—nothing is too big or too small.

Making the decision to seek therapy can be daunting. Part of you might wonder, “Do I really need this?” while another part questions, “What should I even expect?” Let’s face it—if you’ve never been in therapy, it’s hard to understand what it entails.

Media often portrays therapy as lying on a couch, pouring your heart out to someone while they sip their latte and jot notes in a notepad. While this can be one version of therapy, the truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. It all depends on the type of therapy you’re seeking.

What is Talk Therapy?

Talk therapy, or “couch therapy,” is one of the most widely recognized forms of healing in the West. It encourages individuals to explore their emotions, experiences, and patterns through verbal expression, aiming to foster self-awareness and emotional clarity. While this process can be incredibly validating and transformative, it often demands a degree of vulnerability that many people find intimidating. Let’s be honest—most people aren’t comfortable talking about what they’re really feeling, especially in a culture that discourages emotional expression and values "powering through."

Talk therapy is like hitting the gym for your emotions—tough at times but ultimately transformative. It provides a safe space to unpack thoughts and feelings, connect the dots between past and present, and build emotional muscles like self-awareness and resilience. By helping you recognize patterns, reframe unhelpful thinking, and set healthier habits, therapy turns insights into action.

But you know what else the gym and talk therapy often have in common? A desire for transformation as fast as possible.

Western culture's fast-paced nature has undoubtedly shaped how we approach mental health and healing. In a society driven by efficiency, instant gratification, and measurable outcomes, the demand for quick fixes often overshadows the value of deep, reflective processes. This mindset can lead us to prioritize short-term, solution-focused therapies over approaches that encourage us to truly connect with and feel our emotions. This is why many of the most popular forms of talk therapy, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and solution-focused approaches, have risen in popularity in recent years.

What is Holistic Therapy?

While talk therapy is an excellent foundation for mental health care, it doesn’t always resonate with those who struggle to connect through words. Language is a powerful tool, but it’s not the only one available to help us process our experiences. For individuals accustomed to moving quickly through life, slowing down to reflect and sit with emotions might feel counterintuitive. Building trust and rapport with a therapist—a crucial component of talk therapy—also requires patience and time, which can clash with the cultural demand for rapid results.

Holistic therapy offers a counterbalance to the limitations of traditional models. By incorporating practices that address the mind, body, and spirit, holistic approaches to healing remind us of our interconnectedness and encourage us to move beyond intellectualizing our emotions.

As a holistic therapist myself, some days in session might look a bit unconventional compared to traditional talk therapy. Sessions may involve asking my client to become more in tune with where they feel their emotions in their body or inviting them to paint what they envision their emotions to look like. These modalities encourage us to slow down and embrace the full spectrum of human experience, including the messiness and discomfort that come with truly feeling. This approach recognizes that emotional well-being is deeply intertwined with physical sensations, spiritual practices, and creative expression. Alternative methods like these can help unlock emotions that words alone may not access.

While holistic therapy offers a rich, integrative approach, it’s not without its challenges. Its broad range of practices—some well-researched, others less evidence-based—can lack standardization, making it harder to ensure consistency and measure outcomes. For clients seeking quick relief, its emphasis on long-term healing and addressing root causes might feel less effective for managing acute symptoms. Additionally, the commitment required to embrace unfamiliar or unconventional methods can be daunting, and the integrative nature of holistic therapy may feel overwhelming to those new to it. There’s also a risk of encountering untrained or unethical practitioners, potentially leading to ineffective or harmful experiences. Finally, the cost can be a barrier, as many holistic treatments aren’t covered by insurance, limiting accessibility for those with financial constraints.

Finding the Right Fit for You

Both talk therapy and holistic therapy have been empirically proven to work. The question is: Which approach feels more aligned with your needs?

Do you prefer logical, evidence-based methods? If so, traditional talk therapy might be your best bet. On the other hand, if you’re drawn to practices like yoga, meditation, or creative expression, holistic approaches might resonate more. Knowing what feels right for you is an empowering first step in your healing journey. Both paths offer profound potential for growth—it’s simply about finding the one that speaks to you.

How do you know it's time to go to therapy? Let's cover some essentials first. Starting therapy is not an admission that you're broken, hopeless, or waiving some kind of white flag about your ability to handle your problems on your own. It's the realization that the way you're handling things isn't working.

 As a former therapist, I'm not afraid to admit that the culture often misunderstands therapy. For half, therapy is a shameful admission of defeat and dysfunction. For the other half, therapy is needed to make every small decision or work through every interaction they've had during the day. In reality, therapy is neither. Instead, it’s a valuable tool that has its place in a person's life.

Does Everyone Need Therapy?

No, not everyone needs to participate in therapy to be mentally and emotionally balanced or work out their problems. If you're someone who is thinking about therapy because you simply want "someone to talk to" about your problems, you may be better served by investing your time in finding a peer group. You might also benefit from support groups that offer a more unstructured form of communicating and connecting. For example, people struggling with grief greatly benefit from having a support group. 

If you're considering therapy because you want to get in a specific mindset to meet a goal, a life coach could be a better option. People sometimes seek therapy because they believe that getting over certain mental blocks could help them achieve goals. While breakthroughs in therapy do often translate to breakthroughs in life simply because you know yourself better, life coaching can be more appropriate if you're simply looking for someone to help you build a life plan that's focused more on creating a blueprint instead of addressing deep wounds that are creating self-sabotaging behaviors.

Who Needs Therapy?

 It's important not to overlook the signs when you could truly benefit from therapy. There's no concrete rule for when someone needs to see a therapist. It's not a matter of things getting "bad enough." However, the time to see a therapist is when any type of mental or emotional struggle is affecting your ability to function in daily life. For many people, therapy is necessary to manage an ongoing mental health issue. For example, you may be struggling with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), or phobias. Therapy can help you better manage these issues. 

People sometimes seek out therapy to help them get through "seasons." This is something I fully support. For example, you may need help getting through a life challenge following a breakup, the death of a parent or loved one, a serious illness, or a job transition. Of course, couples counseling is an important resource that may need to be used at certain points of a relationship when communication is breaking down. 

I can't provide you with a definitive list of circumstances where a person needs to get to therapy. However, there are some pretty clear signs that your mental health is taking a nosedive. You should strongly consider therapy if you're  dealing with any of the following: 

●     Persistent unbalanced mood or behavior changes

●     Difficulty sleeping or changes to your sleep pattern

●     Inability to control emotions

●     Changes to your eating patterns

●     Difficulties at work or school because of a problem you're facing

●     Apathy and loss of interest in the activities you once loved

●     Trouble with relationships

●     Thoughts of self-harm

●     Feelings of being overwhelmed that are making it hard to cope with your daily tasks

●     Feelings of being so stressed and overwhelmed that you cannot breathe property or sit down to rest

●     Struggling to get out of bed in the morning

●     Feelings of anger, rage, and resentment that won't go away

●     Hopelessness and loss of motivation

●     Social withdrawal that keeps you isolated from the family and friends you love

●     Panic attacks

Therapy should be considered if any of the above issues are significantly impacting your daily functioning. For instance, if you are getting in constant arguments with your spouse due to your lack of motivation, then it’s time to consider counseling.

Final Thoughts 

Therapy can be a wonderful thing for those who need it! It can save relationships, help us let go of life seasons we've outgrown, and empower us to know ourselves better. However, the fact is that therapy isn't a magic wand that can solve problems that are outside the scope of your mental and emotional health.

As someone who has worked in mental health, my hope is that you can see therapy as the useful and life-saving tool that it was meant to be without assuming that you don't have the power to take ownership of your life without counseling.

Listen to Podcast on this article here
https://therapistpoint.com/podcast/managing-anxiety-in-the-workplace

Have you ever heard about the “Sunday Scaries”? They’re the feelings of intense dread that kick in on Sundays when the start of the work week looms. Although Sunday Scaries may be powerful, they’re transitory and usually disappear once Monday is well underway. However, sometimes workplace worries may not pass so easily and stick around every day of the work week. Anxiety generated from one’s employment may even reach such a degree a person’s ability to perform their job becomes impaired.

Note that although anxiety disorders are the most common psychological condition in the US, workplace anxiety is a little different. It tends to decrease on the weekends and days off.

Workplace anxiety can stem from a broad array of causes, but it usually evolves from conflict in working relationships, feelings of being unappreciated, deadlines, job security, overwork, or a toxic working environment.

Symptoms of Work-Related Anxiety

The ways anxiety at work makes itself known varies from person to person, but these are the most common red flags:
-Frequent thoughts of quitting your job
-Feeling trapped with no way out
-Missed deadlines
-Drop in work performance or decrease in productivit
-Feeling tense, pressured
-Problems concentrating

If you have workplace anxiety, you might experience physical symptoms such as:
-Headaches
-Muscle tension
-Fatigue
-Jaw pain
-Insomnia
-Nausea
-Digestive problems, such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)

Some emotional symptoms of work anxiety include: Persistent worry, dread, and/or apprehension related to work topics or being at work, feelings of impatience, Increased irritability

Become the Boss of Your Anxiety

Here are a few ideas that may help you reign in anxiety before it gets out of control.

Check and challenge your thoughts

Take an inventory of your beliefs about work and your employment environment. Are there any thoughts you presume are facts that might be getting in your way? Well-established automatic thoughts, perceptions, and judgments that aren’t in line with reality are called cognitive distortions. They are beliefs that seem true to us but are in fact often incorrect and can be the source of anxiety.

Here’s a common cognitive distortion: “My work must be flawless before I submit it. If it isn’t perfect, then it’s worthless.” This is a form of perfectionism. I’ve had to fight this incorrect and deeply rooted cognitive distortion before. Insisting on perfection prevented me from being on time with assignments, which caused me to get behind on my work, which generated debilitating levels of anxiety as more and more overdue work piled up.

Learn to say “no” and set boundaries

It’s easy to spread yourself too thin, especially at work. Are there any activities you can reduce your involvement in? I used to find myself taking on extra work because I was asked if I could help out, not because I needed to or because such work would be helpful to me. Even though declining would have caused me no problems, I still took on extra work simply because I didn’t know how to say no and wasn’t good at setting boundaries.  Remember that prioritizing your time and work isn’t selfish—it’s essential.

Increase movement and practice deep breathing

If your job is partially to completely sedentary, try to increase your movement during the day. You don’t need to race up and down the halls; getting up and taking a short walk and stretching can help. Also, be mindful of your breathing. People tend to breathe shallowly when they’re anxious, which causes carbon dioxide to accumulate. The brain interprets an increase in carbon dioxide as a threat, which leads to your body feeling as if you’re in danger. Obviously, that makes any sense of anxiety much harder to cope with.

Try box breathing - it will increase your oxygen levels while purging excess carbon dioxide. First, inhale slowly through your nose to a count of four. Hold that breath for 4 seconds, then exhale through your nose, again to a count of four. Wait four seconds before taking your next deep inhalation. This is a practice you can do at anytime and anywhere.

Conclusion
Workplace anxiety is unpleasant but can be managed with simple tools like the ones we’ve discussed. Take a good look at your ideas and beliefs about work, set some reasonable and enforceable boundaries, and remember, saying no isn’t selfish.

References
https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/facts-statistics
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/box-breathing-benefits
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/how-to-recognize-and-tame-your-cognitive-distortions-202205042738

Autumn is well underway, and for millions of people, it’s time to think about the end-of-the-year holidays. Although these festive times can be fun, they’re sometimes a source of anxiety. The American Psychological Association’s latest survey from 2023 indicates that about 41 percent of US adults experience enough stress to interfere with enjoying the holidays.

Holiday Depression

For those who live with depression or other psychological conditions, the holiday stress can aggravate those conditions. That’s because the pressure over the holidays can be tremendous and the stress it provokes is anything but merry.

Holiday Tension & Stress

The sources of holiday tension and stress include all the logistics of getting family together, shopping, expenses, cooking, and many situations unique to each merrymaker. The holidays can also generate loneliness and longing for times and people who have passed away.

This kind of year-end stress struck me as a brand-new counselor. I’d just finished my master’s degree, obtained my license, and snagged my dream job just a few weeks before Thanksgiving—perfect timing to celebrate and relax. I was no longer a flat-broke student; I even had money to spend this year.

And then all the deferred tension and anxiety that had been stuffed down for the prior three years got piled onto the adjustments from student to employee—an employee with no days off for the holidays banked yet. I’d be working through my first holidays as a gainfully employed person.

It seemed like no one close to me understood or sympathized with the anxiety I was feeling. In the eyes of my family, Christmas was coming and I had to be happy because that’s what people are supposed to feel at that time of year. I relaxed only after the holidays were over.

From that experience, I picked up a few holiday stress management techniques you may find useful:

- Manage Expectations
Keep your expectations realistic and don’t set yourself up for disappointment. When it comes to how much you want to take on, stay grounded. Don’t let your wishes exceed your time, money, and peace of mind.

- Learn to Say No
Learning to say no helps you avoid overcommitting yourself, prevents overspending, and helps your boundaries remain intact.

- Set Boundaries and Make Them Stick
Build some limits that work for you. A boundary doesn’t have to be more complex than letting someone know what you will and won’t do.

- Take Care of Yourself
Try to get at least seven to eight hours of sleep a night and be kind to your body. It’s easy to eat and drink too much during the holidays—it’s practically expected! However, relying on alcohol or food for mood improvement can backfire. Although there’s no need to be stingy with holiday treats, avoid excessive consumption.

- Create New Traditions
When things change, like family or friends moving too far away to visit, making new traditions can give you something to look forward to.

Conclusion

The holidays are a source of fun and celebration, but there’s a risk of stress and anxiety getting in the way of good cheer. Remember to take good care of yourself, keep it real with expectations, stay open-minded about new experiences, and make sure to set boundaries to reduce your tension and anxiety during the holiday season.         

References

https://www.nami.org/press-releases/mental-health-and-the-holiday-blues/

https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/11/holiday-season-stress#

Anyone who has experienced a bipolar blackout understands the feeling of realizing that their brain has gone "offline" without their knowledge. Blackouts occur when a person experiences a period of memory loss during and after an episode. When they don't recall saying things, doing things, or acting out in specific ways during manic phases, this is what's known as a bipolar blackout. Bipolar blackouts can be terrifying. They leave a person feeling frustrated because they are being told that events and conversations took place by others. It can feel like they are left to pick up the pieces of what they did and said when they were not in control of their own brains. For loved ones of people with bipolar, realizing that events have been "wiped clean" from the other person's memory can be jarring.

Understanding Memory Lapses in Bipolar Disorder

People with bipolar disorder (BD) frequently experience memory lapses. Even people with bipolar who don't experience full blackouts may experience "fuzziness" in their memories and perceptions. Between 40% and 60% of people with bipolar disorder experience memory loss. Why does it happen? Researchers believe that memory loss associated with bipolar disorder is caused by cognitive fatigue. Through brain imaging, researchers have also discovered that areas of the brain in people with BP show variances in brain volume compared to people without BP. This includes a part of the brain called the hippocampus that's in charge of creating new memories and learning. Volume differences have also been noted in the thalamus, prefrontal cortex, and anterior cingulate cortex.

According to a 2023 research article on Cognitive Impairment Mechanism in Patients with Bipolar Disorder, people who are diagnosed with bipolar have cognitive impairments that occur during both the mood episode, as well as during remission. These impairments include deficits in executive function, as well as memory and attention.

The authors also share that researchers’ analysis of visual motor skills, immediate emotional and non-emotional memory, language fluency, delayed emotional processing, and problem-solving revealed that patients with bipolar disorder exhibited deficits in short-term memory and verbal fluency. How to Minimize Bipolar Memory Loss Issues

Fortunately, bipolar memory loss can be managed. In order to prevent bipolar blackouts, it's essential to reduce the occurrence of manic episodes. For the millions of people who are successfully managing their bipolar disorder symptoms, this generally includes close psychiatric monitoring and medication management. It's important for people who are being treated for bipolar disorder to stay on medications to prevent manic episodes and minimize memory loss. Generally, mood stabilizers and antipsychotics that are prescribed to bipolar patients have high success rates for minimizing symptoms. 

cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

Additionally, therapies that include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be successful for helping people with bipolar to manage their condition using behavioral and thought techniques. Research indicates that psychotherapies are effective complements to pharmacotherapy for delaying or preventing episodes of bipolar depression. Some people who are overwhelmed by bipolar symptoms or concerned about hitting a crisis point can benefit from intensive outpatient therapy (IOP) or day hospitalization programs.

Of course, maintaining a healthy, positive lifestyle overall is crucial for properly managing bipolar disorder. Exercising, maintaining a balanced diet full of brain-supporting foods, and reducing alcohol intake can all help people with BP to maintain healthier memories. However, lifestyle changes and holistic treatments that support overall health and well-being create adjunctive benefits only once a person with BD has been stabilized with properly prescribed bipolar medications.

The ongoing conversation you have with yourself every day - self-talk - can motivate and remind you of your strengths and abilities. Other times, it may be like a critic pulling you down with self-doubt. The way you talk to yourself can affect how you view yourself, the world around you and handle problems.

However, paying attention to your thoughts and steering them to positive self-talk can greatly improve your confidence, productivity, and quality of life. Let’s discuss some helpful tips.

How Positive Self-Talk Works 

The essence of positive self-talk is not to ignore reality or embrace self-delusion. Rather, it involves consciously using encouraging and supportive words in thoughts or inner conversations about yourself or your situation.

Interestingly, the human brain is remarkably adaptable and it strengthens the connections it uses most frequently. So, If you have a habit of positive self-talk, that’s what your brain will support and your thoughts will naturally lean to more constructive and empowering thoughts.

I have learned from experience that positive self-talk can be like a supportive friend that helps me face challenges with determination. For example, whenever I experience self-doubt, especially during big transitions, telling myself, “I’ve handled tough situations before, and I can do it again” has provided a sense of calm and confidence. By actively practicing positive self-talk, I noticed a shift not just in my thoughts but also in my actions. I now approach challenges with a mindset of growth rather than fear of failure.

Rewiring Your Inner Dialogue

In reality, an optimistic mindset doesn’t happen overnight. Rewiring your inner dialogue is a process, and like most processes, it requires effort. But with time and consistent practice, positive self-talk becomes more natural.

Here are some helpful tips:

Notice your self-talk
Start by paying attention to the things you say to yourself throughout the day. After all, awareness is the key to making any change. So, check whether your thoughts boost your confidence or encourage self-doubt.

Challenge negative thoughts 
Honestly, not every thought is real. Sometimes, the mind disguises fears and assumptions as facts. Also, dwelling on upsetting events and past mistakes can fuel negative thoughts. So, check the accuracy of your thoughts whether you are overthinking, overreacting, or even overgeneralizing. Most times scrutinizing our negative thoughts helps weaken their influence.

Replace negativity with positivity. 
When your inner voice tells you, “I can’t,” replace it with something like, “I’ll find a way.” Or when your mind tells you “I’m a failure,” tell yourself, “I’m growing, and I’ll get better.” Switching negative phrases with more empowering ones can slowly rewire your brain to think more positively.

Practice Gratitude
According to Plato, a grateful mind is a great mind which eventually attracts to itself great things. Gratitude makes it easier to embrace a positive mindset. Focusing on what’s good, even in the tiniest of things, can help you retrain your brain to see possibilities instead of problems.

Positive Self-Talk Matters

Our thoughts shape our reality. If your inner conversations promote self-doubt and negativity, it can keep you from reaching your full potential and increase stress and anxiety. However, when you consistently practice positive self-talk, you’ll notice changes in your actions and feelings. You will feel more confident, approach challenges with optimism, and when things don’t go perfectly, be more forgiving of yourself. Over time, this change in mindset will help you have better mental health, stronger relationships and a greater sense of fulfilment.

Conclusion 

Rewiring your inner dialogue isn’t just about thinking happy thoughts. Be intentional. With positive self-talk, you become your own biggest supporter and create a more supportive, and compassionate mindset that helps you thrive. That inner support can make all the difference in how you face life’s challenges.